The last couple of weeks have been insane. Historical Research is making me want to pull my hair out. I'm finally through a major hoop as of Monday but still have a few more to go...bleh. So much of me is ready for this semester to be done with for so many reason. The first reason being that I'd be done with Historical Research for good and won't have the stress of having to write a major paper until I hit graduate work. But the other reason is the fact that I'm tired of my semesters being rocky due to my eye...
I had my last eye appointment back on Tuesday. My cornea doctor was pleased with how well my cornea graft is doing, but he was worried that my vision has not improved to where it needs to be. So I got sent to have scan done of my retina because while he was looking at my eye, he saw what looked like inflamation. So off to the second floor I go. I get the scan done and stay positive since I was getting to meet my plastic surgeon about what he can do to fix my eyelid. It was really interesting how much better my peripherial vision will be come time for that surgery. It won't be perfect but it'll be better than what it is now. At least I won't look as much like Rocky Balboa or the Hunchback of Notre Dame when the time comes for E-Pics, Bridals and the Wedding.
Well during my visit with the surgery scheduler, the wonderful Oklahoma weather struck...oh joys. So we were finally able to finish the paper and got my surgery scheduled for the last Friday of my spring break in March. I wasn't going to miss any school for this surgery..yay. Fastforward today...I forgot my phone in the car while I was in class and missed a call from my mom. I listened to the message and called her back. Well after my cornea doctor looked at the scan, he passed the word on that I now have a retinal fold. Yeah, thus the reason why my vision is still so blurry. So now on March 3rd, I get meet my 3rd acutal eye doctor, but my 4th doctor overall at Dean A. McGee Eye Institute...
And as it stands, I'll probably end up having to pushing back doing the eyelid lift, which I was looking forward to, and have to deal now with the possibility of my 4th surgery on the eye itself. I'm 22 years old, I shouldn't be having these kinds of surgeries...but Murphy's Law...or Clary's Law as my cornea doctor now calls it. I just wish I could have a normal life that wasn't full of eye appointments and restrictions...blarg..I just want to give up.
I've now hit the point that I'm not caring about my body again. I haven't done Turbo Jam in like 2 weeks now. I hate depression. I hate how everything is going good and then it turns to shit. I was hoping that for once, I would have a semester that wasn't interrupted by a surgery that wasn't during a break.
I think I'm just going to crawl into a black hole and cry myself to sleep and hope that everything just goes away. I haven't even touched anything wedding related for myself in weeks now, jsut checked around on the Knot and on WeddingBook, as well as picked up the silver branches that I bought for $40 and will be looking at some more wedding related stuff, just nothing major.
I guess I'm going to stop rambling and try to go to bed. If I can't, I may be sneaking into Jeremy's room and cuddling with him for a while to maybe soothe my nerves and maybe help me get to sleep some how. I'm just glad I only have an 11 o'clock on Tuesdays and Thursdays...
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