So, here it is as I begin writing this post at 6:30 am. My sleep schedule is all screwed up. I was able to get some sleep earlier, from like 11 pm to about 1 am this morning, but that's it. Its like my mind won't switch off. Too many bloody thoughts running through my head about this and that. Some thoughts are wedding related, others deal with my future with Jeremy, then there's school and how I'm going to go about my masters, and finally, how the hell am I going to have the money for a place to live when it comes time for Jeremy and I to get married. Yes I know I have about a year to figure it all out, but in the back of my mind, I have this plan of us getting a place during the fall of 2010. I want to be somewhat settled in and used to things before Jeremy and I are actually married. For all tense and purpose, we know how each other lives. I feel like I have to have a plan for everything or else I'm going to fail. Maybe I will take a little bit longer to do my masters so that I can work more and save up the money. I still hope that I have a job waiting for me once I'm done with my bachelors come Spring 2010. But who knows with the state of the economy and funding issues at all levels across the board, whether it be state or federal.
I know some people are like, well go and get a job now and still go to school, blah blah blah. Ok, realize that I was a college athlete for 3 years. That is a job in and of itself. Then for 2 of those 3 years, I was a tutor. It was great, I got to set my own hours and made decent pay for a full time college scholar athlete. Then during the summers, I'd work some where, including where I hope to have a job waiting for me. But now I'm not doing college athletics and I'm just a student. Well, I tried the whole working and going to school thing. The hours I worked during the summer were fine and then school started. Well just after school started, we became short handed due to some stuff and I said I would work a little bit more than what I was wanting until we got more help. Even after we got more help, I was still working 30+ hours while going to school full time. Yeah, no beuno. My hours got cut down finally for like a few weeks and then it went to hell and a hand basket. I couldn't do it. My grades were suffering, I had a term paper due in 2 weeks that I had barely gotten the chance to work on, and I had surgery coming up (which ended up happening during my finals week). If I could find a job that I worked only or up to X amount of hours, I'd be happy. At least it would be some sort of income for me. I'm hoping that when I start my intership hours come the summer, I can re-establish my foot in the door and possibly get a job.
Then with Jeremy, there's no telling for him job wise. He's studying to be a teacher and will hopefully (fingers crossed) be doing his student teaching in the fall of 2010. But my fear is that he doesn't get hired on for the spring semester some where. How would we be able to support ourselves and our new marriage come January 2011?
I guess I just let my fears get the best of me. Or I'm overly analytical about things. To a certain extent, I do over analyze things.
Does anyone know where I can find the off switch for my brain? Seriously.
I guess this early morning ramblings was more a vent to get thoughts out of my mind, but they will continue to roam around causing me to rethink things over and over and over.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
A Year in Review
Ok, so the year of 2008 has been filled with triumphs and tragedy, but it is time for a recap.
January - I started the new year off with cutting 10 inches of hair off and donating it to Locks of Love. I moved back to Bacone for my last semester there and my final season of track. I made new friends, hung out with Jeremy for the first time on the 8th, and competed in my first indoor track meet (and only one). In the middle of the month, after my first indoor track meet, I found out that I had to have glaucoma surgery at the end of the month. No bueno. So there went half my track season right there pratically.
February - It was an interesting month. Jeremy and I were officially together by now. I got to watch him play baseball since I couldn't practice. I was a student assistant coach and team photographer for the track team. I got to see Jeremy's first home run of the season (and got a photo of the connection!!!)
March - I got sucked into doing photography for the Baconian. Was kind of competing in one event at a time at the track meets, ie one meet I'd through discus, another I'd through shot put, and a third I'd throw javelin so that I could throw all three at the conference meet come April. I got to watch more baseball and track.
April - The month started off ok, but I had no idea of how bad it was going to get. I was excited because I'd get to see Jeremy and was staying at the same hotel as the baseball team (they were playing their last conference game of the season), but saddened by the Conference Track Meet in Texas since it was my last one. Then that first night in Texas, I got a call from Jeremy's roommate and a friend of ours, saying that Crystal was dead, killed in a hit and run. I then received text messages. I called Jeremy crying my eyes out, called my parents. Then the next morning I had to be the bearer of bad news to the track team, since many of them knew Crystal or had her mother for a math class. It was a somber April 19th. After the meet was over and I finally got a hold of Jeremy, I was informed that his cousin Charlie had been found dead that morning in his car. So I got to play telephone central, communicating between Jeremy and his dad. Then that next week was Crystal and Charlie's funerals. Crystal's funeral was extremely tough on both Jeremy and I, if it hadn't been for the friendships we had formed with her, we may have never gotten together. But one good thing did come from the day of Crystal's funeral, I got my mustang. Then that Friday, Jeremy and I sprinted up to Tulsa for Charlie's funeral that Saturday. It was hard on Jeremy and it hurt me to see him saddened even more than he was at the beginning of the week. After the funeral, we had to sprint back to Bacone because he and the baseball team were leaving for their Conference Tourney. I finished my last week at Bacone without Jeremy but was excited to know that even though they got knocked out of the tourney, he would be back in time to go to graduation.
May - I graduated from Bacone and got everything set and ready to go so I could attend UCO. May was also filled with sadness. Jeremy's grandmother on his dad's side passed away, so off to another funeral. The rest of the month was ok. I got to spend a lot of time with Jeremy. He took me to my first Tulsa Driller's baseball game.
June - It was a good month. I got a job at a bridal store. Everything was going pretty good with my eye. Nothing really major happened in June.
July - Jeremy hit his head and had to get staples put in his scalp, but I still love him. lol. I got to spend the 4th with Jeremy. I loved being held by him while watching the fireworks. Went to my track coach's wedding and had a great time. Ended up having to take Jeremy to the ER the night before we were to go to Branson. He ended up with a staph infection about 3 inches below his belly button. So yeah, going to Branson after being awake for over 24 hours was no fun. Needless to say we crashed when it was bed time that night. I got to play nurse for Jeremy to make sure he was doing everything he was supposed to do. Had a blast a Silver Dollar City. It was my first trip ever. We had a tintype kind of photo taken of us as a southern bell and Confederate officer. We went shopping. Found out though that I'd be having cataract surgery at some point, but that was minor compared to the other two surgies that I had had previously. Other than those things, July wasn't too bad.
August - The start of a new school year and a new school for me. It was weird not having Jermey around. He decided to stick around at Bacone for another year. But that would change after all hell broke loose with baseball. I was still working at the bridal shop and trying to keep up my studies.
September - It was getting harder to spend time with Jermey, but it happens. But come September 6, even though Jermey was supposed to be back at campus because of stupid stuff thanks to the Napoleon of a coach, he was down with me. I had no idea what was going to happen after I got off work from a stressful day of dealing with brides. Jeremy and I were supposed to go to Olive Garden for dinner but he had changed his mind and had decided to take me on a picinic. Fine with me, I was hungry and tired. Well needless to say, it wasn't a picnic. It was a proposal!!! We still had Italian but at a different restuarant. The rest of the month was ok. It had its bumps.
October - I found out that besides the cataract surgery, I was going to have to have full blown glaucoma surgery. Woo hoo...not. I celebrated my 22nd birthday and got surprise roses even though Jeremy was in Muskogee...gotta love it when your finace and mother plot against ya. Halloween was fun, but I don't think I'll ever dress as a Playboy Bunny again..lol.
November - This was a pretty stressful month for me. I found out that I'd be having surgery during my finals week in December, way no beuno, and was trying to finish my term paper for a military history class that I was taking. But I did get to spend Thanksgiving with Jeremy, but was sicker than a dog on Thanksgiving Day. Bleh. At least he still loved me and offered to try and take care of me.
December - Well, I had to rearrange a few finals and had surgery on the 9th. We found out what was causing the pressure to still be an issue but it was fixed during surgery. Finished taking my finals, got to deal with some crappy weather. But I did get to meet with my wedding photographer Kriea, who's amazing! And we booked her. Had a great Christmas with my family. I can't wait for New Year's Eve to be here in 3 days!!!
So that is my year in review. I can't wait to see what the new year will bring and what stresses come with it as I begin even more wedding planning.
January - I started the new year off with cutting 10 inches of hair off and donating it to Locks of Love. I moved back to Bacone for my last semester there and my final season of track. I made new friends, hung out with Jeremy for the first time on the 8th, and competed in my first indoor track meet (and only one). In the middle of the month, after my first indoor track meet, I found out that I had to have glaucoma surgery at the end of the month. No bueno. So there went half my track season right there pratically.
February - It was an interesting month. Jeremy and I were officially together by now. I got to watch him play baseball since I couldn't practice. I was a student assistant coach and team photographer for the track team. I got to see Jeremy's first home run of the season (and got a photo of the connection!!!)
March - I got sucked into doing photography for the Baconian. Was kind of competing in one event at a time at the track meets, ie one meet I'd through discus, another I'd through shot put, and a third I'd throw javelin so that I could throw all three at the conference meet come April. I got to watch more baseball and track.
April - The month started off ok, but I had no idea of how bad it was going to get. I was excited because I'd get to see Jeremy and was staying at the same hotel as the baseball team (they were playing their last conference game of the season), but saddened by the Conference Track Meet in Texas since it was my last one. Then that first night in Texas, I got a call from Jeremy's roommate and a friend of ours, saying that Crystal was dead, killed in a hit and run. I then received text messages. I called Jeremy crying my eyes out, called my parents. Then the next morning I had to be the bearer of bad news to the track team, since many of them knew Crystal or had her mother for a math class. It was a somber April 19th. After the meet was over and I finally got a hold of Jeremy, I was informed that his cousin Charlie had been found dead that morning in his car. So I got to play telephone central, communicating between Jeremy and his dad. Then that next week was Crystal and Charlie's funerals. Crystal's funeral was extremely tough on both Jeremy and I, if it hadn't been for the friendships we had formed with her, we may have never gotten together. But one good thing did come from the day of Crystal's funeral, I got my mustang. Then that Friday, Jeremy and I sprinted up to Tulsa for Charlie's funeral that Saturday. It was hard on Jeremy and it hurt me to see him saddened even more than he was at the beginning of the week. After the funeral, we had to sprint back to Bacone because he and the baseball team were leaving for their Conference Tourney. I finished my last week at Bacone without Jeremy but was excited to know that even though they got knocked out of the tourney, he would be back in time to go to graduation.
May - I graduated from Bacone and got everything set and ready to go so I could attend UCO. May was also filled with sadness. Jeremy's grandmother on his dad's side passed away, so off to another funeral. The rest of the month was ok. I got to spend a lot of time with Jeremy. He took me to my first Tulsa Driller's baseball game.
June - It was a good month. I got a job at a bridal store. Everything was going pretty good with my eye. Nothing really major happened in June.
July - Jeremy hit his head and had to get staples put in his scalp, but I still love him. lol. I got to spend the 4th with Jeremy. I loved being held by him while watching the fireworks. Went to my track coach's wedding and had a great time. Ended up having to take Jeremy to the ER the night before we were to go to Branson. He ended up with a staph infection about 3 inches below his belly button. So yeah, going to Branson after being awake for over 24 hours was no fun. Needless to say we crashed when it was bed time that night. I got to play nurse for Jeremy to make sure he was doing everything he was supposed to do. Had a blast a Silver Dollar City. It was my first trip ever. We had a tintype kind of photo taken of us as a southern bell and Confederate officer. We went shopping. Found out though that I'd be having cataract surgery at some point, but that was minor compared to the other two surgies that I had had previously. Other than those things, July wasn't too bad.
August - The start of a new school year and a new school for me. It was weird not having Jermey around. He decided to stick around at Bacone for another year. But that would change after all hell broke loose with baseball. I was still working at the bridal shop and trying to keep up my studies.
September - It was getting harder to spend time with Jermey, but it happens. But come September 6, even though Jermey was supposed to be back at campus because of stupid stuff thanks to the Napoleon of a coach, he was down with me. I had no idea what was going to happen after I got off work from a stressful day of dealing with brides. Jeremy and I were supposed to go to Olive Garden for dinner but he had changed his mind and had decided to take me on a picinic. Fine with me, I was hungry and tired. Well needless to say, it wasn't a picnic. It was a proposal!!! We still had Italian but at a different restuarant. The rest of the month was ok. It had its bumps.
October - I found out that besides the cataract surgery, I was going to have to have full blown glaucoma surgery. Woo hoo...not. I celebrated my 22nd birthday and got surprise roses even though Jeremy was in Muskogee...gotta love it when your finace and mother plot against ya. Halloween was fun, but I don't think I'll ever dress as a Playboy Bunny again..lol.
November - This was a pretty stressful month for me. I found out that I'd be having surgery during my finals week in December, way no beuno, and was trying to finish my term paper for a military history class that I was taking. But I did get to spend Thanksgiving with Jeremy, but was sicker than a dog on Thanksgiving Day. Bleh. At least he still loved me and offered to try and take care of me.
December - Well, I had to rearrange a few finals and had surgery on the 9th. We found out what was causing the pressure to still be an issue but it was fixed during surgery. Finished taking my finals, got to deal with some crappy weather. But I did get to meet with my wedding photographer Kriea, who's amazing! And we booked her. Had a great Christmas with my family. I can't wait for New Year's Eve to be here in 3 days!!!
So that is my year in review. I can't wait to see what the new year will bring and what stresses come with it as I begin even more wedding planning.
Let the Ramblings Begin...
Ok, so life has had its ups and downs lately, but I think I'm finally on the ups again. Christmas was great, except for not getting to spend that much time with Jeremy, but I did get to see him. I got some great things for Christmas, including a Cardinals baseball uniform for the Build-a-Bear that Jeremy got me back in the summer. Plus I got UGG boots!!! I did surprise Jeremy with two gifts for him, the personalized Cardinals home jeresy with his last name and his old baseball number, and drum roll please....Jeff Dunham tickets for when he comes to town in May!!! Needless to say he was shocked!!
In other news, on the wedding planning front: Jeremy, my mom and I met with the photographer I wanted to book back on the 15th. It all went well and I can't wait to work with her. Then right before Christmas, I sent the deposit and contract into her to book the wedding date!! So I have one major wedding item done. I don't have to worry about my wedding dress, its hanging in guestroom! But I think the next big thing wedding planning wise is going and talking to Cyndi Lu at the Oklahoma History Center.
Other than those things, nothing major going on. But I do get to have my hair done on January 2, 2009. Time to update my hair. Then I have two eye appointments to see how the eye is doing after almost a month post-op so. But the vision is coming along really well I think. If only my eye could focus better..lol.
In other news, on the wedding planning front: Jeremy, my mom and I met with the photographer I wanted to book back on the 15th. It all went well and I can't wait to work with her. Then right before Christmas, I sent the deposit and contract into her to book the wedding date!! So I have one major wedding item done. I don't have to worry about my wedding dress, its hanging in guestroom! But I think the next big thing wedding planning wise is going and talking to Cyndi Lu at the Oklahoma History Center.
Other than those things, nothing major going on. But I do get to have my hair done on January 2, 2009. Time to update my hair. Then I have two eye appointments to see how the eye is doing after almost a month post-op so. But the vision is coming along really well I think. If only my eye could focus better..lol.