So, here it is as I begin writing this post at 6:30 am. My sleep schedule is all screwed up. I was able to get some sleep earlier, from like 11 pm to about 1 am this morning, but that's it. Its like my mind won't switch off. Too many bloody thoughts running through my head about this and that. Some thoughts are wedding related, others deal with my future with Jeremy, then there's school and how I'm going to go about my masters, and finally, how the hell am I going to have the money for a place to live when it comes time for Jeremy and I to get married. Yes I know I have about a year to figure it all out, but in the back of my mind, I have this plan of us getting a place during the fall of 2010. I want to be somewhat settled in and used to things before Jeremy and I are actually married. For all tense and purpose, we know how each other lives. I feel like I have to have a plan for everything or else I'm going to fail. Maybe I will take a little bit longer to do my masters so that I can work more and save up the money. I still hope that I have a job waiting for me once I'm done with my bachelors come Spring 2010. But who knows with the state of the economy and funding issues at all levels across the board, whether it be state or federal.
I know some people are like, well go and get a job now and still go to school, blah blah blah. Ok, realize that I was a college athlete for 3 years. That is a job in and of itself. Then for 2 of those 3 years, I was a tutor. It was great, I got to set my own hours and made decent pay for a full time college scholar athlete. Then during the summers, I'd work some where, including where I hope to have a job waiting for me. But now I'm not doing college athletics and I'm just a student. Well, I tried the whole working and going to school thing. The hours I worked during the summer were fine and then school started. Well just after school started, we became short handed due to some stuff and I said I would work a little bit more than what I was wanting until we got more help. Even after we got more help, I was still working 30+ hours while going to school full time. Yeah, no beuno. My hours got cut down finally for like a few weeks and then it went to hell and a hand basket. I couldn't do it. My grades were suffering, I had a term paper due in 2 weeks that I had barely gotten the chance to work on, and I had surgery coming up (which ended up happening during my finals week). If I could find a job that I worked only or up to X amount of hours, I'd be happy. At least it would be some sort of income for me. I'm hoping that when I start my intership hours come the summer, I can re-establish my foot in the door and possibly get a job.
Then with Jeremy, there's no telling for him job wise. He's studying to be a teacher and will hopefully (fingers crossed) be doing his student teaching in the fall of 2010. But my fear is that he doesn't get hired on for the spring semester some where. How would we be able to support ourselves and our new marriage come January 2011?
I guess I just let my fears get the best of me. Or I'm overly analytical about things. To a certain extent, I do over analyze things.
Does anyone know where I can find the off switch for my brain? Seriously.
I guess this early morning ramblings was more a vent to get thoughts out of my mind, but they will continue to roam around causing me to rethink things over and over and over.
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