Frustrations......

Yeah, its hard to believe that 2 years from today I will be married to Jeremy. The night started off great with going to dinner at my fave steakhouse and our server ended up being a bride that I had worked with when I was a bridal consultant. When we got home, things were still going good, that is until I asked him a question. After I got his answer, I just want to give up. I try to do something for "us" and then it goes to hell because of something I thought I had made clear to him wasn't clear enough.

A few months ago a came across a thread about different things to do instead of a unity candle or a sand ceremony. One poster brought up a Dutch tradition about having a a chest of sort and place within it a bottle of wine, 2 glasses, and a letter to one another. During the ceremony, the couple and their mothers would each place a nail in the top to seal it. This would then create a keepsake for the couple to use as a emergency kit so to speak for their marriage if things started going down hill for one reason or another. But if it wasn't opened because of an marriage emergency, it would be opened on the couple's 25 wedding anniversary. No matter when opened it would be opened, it would serve as a reminder as to why they loved another and why they married.

Well me, being the creative one, I thought it would be cool to take that idea but do it for a different purpose. My idea was to put it together and then have it opened on our wedding night, kind of a gift to each other that we could both enjoy to help wind down the evening. Well I originally had thought that we would put it together on January 17th of this year on our 1 year anniversary. After telling Jeremy about it, and him liking the idea, I came to the conclusion that it would be a better idea if we were to do it on January 8th, as in today. Jeremy liked that idea even better.

Fast forward to last week, I had been asking Jeremy if he had written his letter yet and he kept telling me that he hadn't had the chance to sit down and write it without being bothered. Ok, how many mornings has he been not bothered in the mornings the last couple of days while Papa was out running errands? Hell, if I had needed some quit space, I would have gone out to the car and do it. Oh wait, I did that back when I lived on campus and the roomies were being loud. Anyways, back to the issue. I was still under the impression that he knew that he needed to have the letter written to me done today, eh wrong. He still thought that it needed to be done by the 17th....HELLO, I've been working on my letter for like 2 and a half weeks trying to get it just right. My letter was written, but needed to be rewritten because the page tore when I was pulling it out of the notebook. Needless to say, I shreaded the letter to Jeremy in front of him. Because of the way it was written, it needed to be put together with his and the glasses today. It wouldn't make sense if we were to put it together on the 17th. So now, I don't even see a point in putting the damn thing together.

I'm broken hearted and hurt. It doesn't help that mother nature has stuck her head out and makes me even more emotional than what I normaly am. I just don't know what to do.......